December 19th 2006

I got an answer from the ModDB guys:

"Your mod received 131 points which is very good. You required 210 points to make the Top 100 however."


Change of plans. You knew this would be coming. I said and told myself that I want to finish PHQ by December 21st this year. Well, that's not gonna happen. The only thing left to do is the PvP mode. Everything has been planned out and I still need to draw about 30 creature images. But that's not the real problem. The problem is that I'm not satisfied with the details of the PvP mode. I've had some additional ideas yesterday which will turn the whole thing into something at least a bit enjoyable. So, I guess this will take the whole January as well. I'm really angry because of the fact that I just can't let go of PHQ, but I don't want to leave the PvP spot blank and neither do I want to fill it with only half of what I could do with it. And I'm frustrated because I fell for the addiction called 'content'. I recently watched season 2 of Lost and I got the Wii and it distracts me quite a bit. I suppose all that's left until December 21st is planning for the PvP mode - if I get the time.

My brain is eagerly awaiting the PHQ development break. I can hardly wait to go on with Antaran and the HQA Comics full time. But it will have to wait until end of January...

Also, I shouldn't really talk about it here (not yet at least), but I need to write it down for myself. I want to get out of here. I have yet to find a way to do so, but the gist of it is that I want to be a full time ... well, I guess it falls under the category "artist", although I find myself disliking this definition because usually artists are arrogant mac users who think their stuff is the best in the world. Okay, I guess since I'm probably one of the most arrogant persons who create something you could say I'm an artist. Anyway.

I thought of what I could do if I were a full-time artist. I could finally produce the music story of a knight that has been in my head for a very long time. I would finally be able to update PHQ, weekly, without sacrificing time from other projects. I could write books. I would love to. The muddasheep homepage needs a makeover and I'm thinking of merging it completely with the farm, making a new system for all the content stuff, and all PHQ articles would be directly implemented as well. I could finally continue with the HQA Comics and finish it - and start a completely new comic in the same or different universe with daily updates. And not to forget, Halfquake Sunrise. The monthly magazine with 10 pages full of random stuff. The translation of old stories of mine into English. I could finally go back and work on the game 'I'm a Dragon'.

But I don't know how I can be a full-time artist when there's no money involved. After all I still have to eat and drive around in my car and buy DVDs every now and then. Okay, I could maybe try to live without the food. Seriously though, I think I could live with a monthly income of 600 Euro, emphasis on 'live', which means I would be alive, but probably somewhere in a one room apartment with no toilet. So, I need to sell my stuff. But would anyone buy my stuff? If yes, for how long? You see, the basic job offers the security of a regular income. I wouldn't have this. I would probably work more than in my regular job, but I would get much less money for it (that's what you get for "freedom"). Now I don't want to be rich (even if I sang the opposite ...), but I want to be able to live just like I do now. And at the moment I 'only' get 300 more. So 600 wouldn't be so bad for finally being able to do what I want, full-time.

So, my question to you guys is: Would you buy my stuff? I guess, since you're reading this you've been around here for a bit and you've come to know me and my devotion towards my projects. I described above what I would offer and I'm sure there would be a lot more once I finally had the freedom my creativity needs. But again, what could you buy? The monthly magazine, music in CD format, books, t-shirts (finally), maybe artworks that are solely created for being purchased, or you could simply donate to see the freely available projects grow (PHQ, IAD, Antaran, Comics, HQS).

The next problem is, there isn't enough of you. And I know one reason for that is that everything around here is a mess. There should be one site with all the content. That's quite an obstacle to overcome, but with enough free time I could finally implement the redesign that has been floating around in my head for about a month now.

I want to do this. I really want to do this and the more I think about it the better it gets. The only problem is money, so I might have to save up for one year first so that I have a bit of a buffer. The whole thing won't happen in one day, sure. And while saving up I can try to get the attention of a broader audience. But for that I need content and time. And I hope I'll be able to use more of the latter and spend it on the first.

Next year is definitely going to be interesting.