October 06th 2014

Here's a Vain Attempt Cover by Inconnu Fletnn (thanks to Niles for contacting him). The original can be listened to here.

And here are new screenshots for the Postal 2 mod Useless Soul.


I've had a sort of breakthrough in the last few days and been writing a lot for my new book. It's still difficult to say when it will be done; if I take a look at my mental roadmap, I'd say I'm close to the end of the second story arc, and there's still one arc left to write.

It's hard to convey any sort of progress with a book (or music for that fact), but since I'm used to game development, here's a work-in-progress screenshot. If you don't know yet, the book's called Walter's Deal and it tells the story of a scientist, who invented teleportation in the 1990s, also involving a salesman who's trying to connect the world with Walter's technology. And yes, there are Star Trek references early on, but then people die and the actual fun begins.

Last time I said I'm never bored, and the book is one of the reasons. There's just so much to do, and even when I'm not writing, there's enough content out there that can be consumed at any time that it would probably last a lifetime or two. I've thought about boredom a lot, and it seems it usually affects people who aren't used to being alone and can't quite figure out what to do when nobody's around to tell them. Maybe it's due to the fact that our senses are constantly overcharged by being connected all the time or it's because there's so much content available; the brain is over-stimulated and becomes insensitive, and thus becomes bored, as nothing seems interesting anymore.

I don't really know, it's definitely a strange state to be in. What I do know is that I'm used to creating and when I don't create anything for a while my brain longs for that sort of fire again. I actually get frustrated when I can't work on my stuff for several days and whatever I do - I can't stop thinking about continuing with my projects and nothing else interests me. I guess that's a form of boredom. Or is that the sign of addiction? Can one be addicted to creating?

I know I was high on updating PHQ for a while. It was a quick fix for my brain; I got lots of stuff done in short bursts of time, I wrote lengthy satisfying news articles and watched people try out the new stuff I made. I sought attention and found that compared to huge projects that took years - PHQ resulted in instant gratification.

If boredom means not getting enough attention, maybe I create because I'm afraid of being bored. And maybe I like to entertain people because I want to return the attention I've received and don't want anyone being bored.

Are you?