June 16th 2005

I'm missing something here. I know it... While I'm sitting here, my life goes by laughing at me, sticking its tongue out my way. I know it. I'm wasting my time. I don't know why. Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe I don't miss anything. Maybe I do. Would I regret it if I did? What do I miss? Do I know if I've never seen? What is it that disturbs me? What is it that I'm missing? Why do I meet so many people who haven't reached their goals? Will I be one of them? Why am I hiding? What do I have to lose? Where am I going? Can you show me the way?

Who are those people? They're wearing black things, they listen to the same music I listen to. Though they do different things than I do. They enjoy their life while I escape into virtuality. Do they enjoy their life? Why are they wearing black then? Why are they cheering to death threats, why are they singing hate anthems? And why do they smile and love? Why do they kiss and hate?

What is there to gain? What is there to lose? What will be my score at the end? Where DOES it end? And when?

I know what I miss. I know. I just can't tell. I know it. I miss things I lost. I lost a lot. I lost myself. I miss myself. Where am I? Where have I gone? Why did I leave? Where does this way end?

I'd be rich, if tears were money. I'd be crying, if I was alone. Leave me alone, so I can cry. I want to be rich.