July 06th 2015

So, there's an update for PHQ. It felt strange opening up those old files. There's code in there that's been collecting dust for twelve years. I'm not sure if I'll add more stuff.

One year before finishing Halfquake Sunrise, I wanted to update PHQ and basically start creating it from scratch. It ended up being a big overhaul, but not that sort of reboot I actually had in mind. I'm not sure we'll ever get so see that, but I've still got my notes and ideas lingering around.

Why update PHQ at all though? I like trying out small new ideas. And a lot of these ideas would be online anyway and have some form of multiplayer. PHQ lets me do that, there's already a user account system and insane chaos was always a thing in PHQ anyway. So, maybe there will be more.

I haven't finished Walter's Deal just yet, but I'm slowly trying to get back into making games. My next game isn't something entirely new, but it requires getting to know Unity, so it will take a bit (and maybe a small test game here and there) to actually go into development. Meanwhile I'll try and have some fun on the side, and sometimes it will include you.

I'd like to bring up Patreon once again. It's very motivating for me and it makes me stick to some sort of schedule. I'm still not comfortable taking people's money, and I should not write about this so openly, but by having my Patreon page up I fear every day that what I do is not enough, even if it's just a dollar a month that I'm given. I try to post trivia stuff there as much as possible, like my unfinished game Defenergy, or some form of status update about my current projects, but I'm not sure if that's enough or whether it meets expectations.

Meeting expectations has been a theme in a lot of my projects, and I've usually been able to downplay the importance of fulfilling expectations and to just do my thing as long as I like doing it. I'm just not sure if I'm cut out to do this. But I'll continue to try and have surprises ready, because ultimately that is what I like to do and that is what you can expect: something that hopefully surprises and entertains, even if just for a minute.

I remember writing stories when I was in my early teens and sharing them with my cousin. She usually laughed and had a great time, and afterwards I always sat down and figured out a way to make her laugh again the next time we'd meet. The funny thing was, at one point I thought I had written something absolutely hilarious, but she only managed to chuckle. She finished reading and I knew, it hadn't met her expectations. I tried again, realizing what I had done wrong, and I spun this whole series of stories into some kind of epic tale of totally irrational characters and events. She laughed again, but I also noticed, that was it, that's as far as I can take these stories and these characters. It was over.

You sense when something's done, like the death of PHQ. Injecting some off-the-wall features will not bring it back to life, but I guess we can still have a little bit of fun.

I know that about Halfquake in general. It's time to move on. Heck, I sometimes don't even know why I still call myself "muddasheep", other than that's what can be read everywhere in all the credits of my projects, so that won't go away anytime soon.

My next project is a tough thing. I'm not sure I'm ready for something totally new. Maybe Halfquake is exactly what I'm here to do. Maybe it's what I like to do most, combining puzzles with some form of adventure, strange humor and my passion for music. Maybe it just needs a new name, so I can be free of the Halfquake spirit, and still create a spiritual successor.

I'm not sure. As I was recently told, primarily I should finish what I start. That means completing Walter's Deal. But I'll keep brainstorming new stuff on the side. And learn Unity.

And I'll make sure there's something small every now and then for you to explore and make you wonder about the state of my mind. Like that one time, many years ago, when I showed my old website to a classmate and I was told to seek help.

Well, at least you know what to expect of me. More or less.