Near the end of Halfquake Amen I was quite busy. I worked about 5 hours from Monday to Thursday (20 hours a week), most of the time staying awake until 2 am.
I guess, I'm reaching that limit again. I go to bed at 2 am, after I had worked for about 5-7 hours. You wonder if I have a life? Well, I do. A screwed up one. Things are going to fall apart, actually. I still don't know what my purpose in real life is. I still find people, telling me how unnatural it is not to go outside for a while, to have unnatural white skin and dark rings beneath my eyes. Or: "Why do you always wear black clothes?"
And who cares? If I am outside I wonder what people are doing there. They're doing NOTHING. They're just hanging around, drinking, smoking, or meeting with friends for senseless discussions. It's pointless. And if they ask me what my point in my life is, then I answer, I've got a greater point than them. At least, I create
something. Even if it's worthless for them, it means a lot to me. I don't want to waste my life by doing nothing. I want to waste my life by creating. And you know, life goes by faster when you're working on something. I guess I know how I'll meet death: By working too much.